Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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