Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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