its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I could fuck to npr.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
