David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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