fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
