Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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