She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
