There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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