chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
