Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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