My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
