Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
