Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize