but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
