people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
