your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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