i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
