i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
