Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
is it fun? or sober?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
