Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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