the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
