Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
