found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
