in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
