I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
