i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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