Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
