I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
