Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
