his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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