Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
