your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
