Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
