a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
