Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
