I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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