Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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