Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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