i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
