just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it's like iHOP with fire
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
