Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm at about main and main street
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
