We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
