I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
