so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize