I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
