I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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