we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize