thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize