I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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