I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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