I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
