In the future we'll all be gay
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
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