so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
