I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
