I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
