I am in a vortex of obligation.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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