I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
