He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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