Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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