nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize