I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
