I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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