Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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