Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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