i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
