so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize