Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
