So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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