Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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